( 7:04 PM )
The following handwritten letter was recently discovered on the marble steps of McKinley Hall:
Dear Lisa,
Hey I’ve been jumping around with this lacy guy named Jack Benimble—he’s pretty quick and seems to really know his way around candlesticks. Must work at Pottery Barn or something. Say that reminds me, I know you said not to buy mayonnaise out of the trunk of that shady dude that hangs out at Fast Ed’s used car dealership in Arkport every Tuesday afternoon, but when he said he would throw in a used vibrating rubber vagina molded from David Hasselhoff, I just couldn’t say no! Anyway, long story short, don’t eat the mayo (oops, it’s expired), and you should probably overlook the melted life preserver on the sofa.
Err, maybe it was Rosie O’Donnell’s slip and slide. I couldn’t tell.
Kristin
Song of the Day:
"Umbrellas" Peanut Butter Wolf 2005
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( 8:18 PM )
The following handwritten letter was discovered crumpled up on the steps of McKinley Hall:
Dear Lisa,
I just read that Visine now makes eye spermicide, which is good news because the regular stuff burns my corneas something fierce. Now if they would only make an emergency contraceptive mouthwash and lemony-scented bathroom sanitizer I’d be stoked. You know, I’m sure people avoid me by ignoring me and pretending that I don’t exist. From now on I’ll be invisible—that’ll totally get their attention! While Crystal at the Nail Hut gave me a manicure we talked about convection current weightlessness coinciding with inverse gravitational instability on outer cortex regions of deep space worm holes. So I got glitter kitties painted on!
See you tonight when I reveal my mystery veil unveiling,
Kristin
Song of the Day:
“The Last Time” Gnarls Barkley 2006
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