Exiled on Main Street
June 2003
Music Fiction by Mike Webb

Episode 4 – Insane in the Brain
(Featuring: White Stripes, New Pornographers, Cypress Hill and Read Yellow)

Wally just wasn’t going to shut up about how disappointing the new White Stripes album was and how it sounded like they weren’t having any fun. "Alright already," said Tim. "I know it’s completely overrated, so give it a rest and meet me at 7 so we can get a buzz on before we go see Read Yellow."

Tim hung up the phone and let out an exasperated, "Jesus." As if on cue, Michael Goddard stuck his head into Tim’s office and said, "What’s up mate?" Tim gave him the run down on Elephant and Goddard tried to set him straight. "Sure it’s a kind of dour and not the masterpiece everyone is making it out to be, but it’s a good next step – the album they were trying to make. At some point you have to find a more coherent way to mix your garage/blues together rather than just jamming your chocolate in your peanut butter, y’know. So Jack White went a searchin’. And that’s what it’s all about kid – the journey."

"Yeah, well he could have written a few good songs along the way," responded Tim. "Half of them are just a chord progression repeated over and over for 4 minutes. And the Burt Bacharach song was a very bad choice. So tell him not to go searchin’ in the garbage next time."

"Bloody hell mate, it’s not that bad. It’s got some rave-ups and a couple of beautiful pieces. And "There’s No Home For You Here" has one of those nasty "Stupid Girl" type lyrics. It’s good stuff if you let it grow on you."

"Fuck letting it grow on you. I didn’t have to wait for the New Pornographers’ Electric Version to hit me..."

"They’re straight pop songs moron. They’re supposed to hit you right away. That’s not what the White Stripes are about. In fact, that goddamn New Pornographers album made my teeth hurt it’s so sugary sweet."

"Easy," Tim chimed in. "That’s one of the better records I’ve heard this year. There’s not a bad track man. It’s like Brian Wilson meets the Brady Bunch’s "Sunshine Day." The kind of music you’d hear during a movie when the two stars are falling in love. Only a deaf mute could dislike this stuff."

"Um, with all the road work I’ve done, I resemble that last remark. I admit it’s good stuff, but it’s just so fucking cheery. Can you imagine listening to that on a Sunday morning with a hangover? That’s the last thing you’d want."

Tim agreed, and took their moment of agreement as an opportunity for him to push God out the door. He didn’t need music sermonizing, he needed to get high. And the minute he got outside of Tower he did the next best thing and put Cypress Hill’s Black Sunday on his MP3 player. His eyes narrowed (and probably got red) at the thought of hearing "Hits From The Bong" and "I Wanna Get High" because they were so close to replicating the feeling of being high. The down tempo beats, repetitive lyrics, and general mayhem made his head feel light.

When he got home and finally hit a leftover blunt, he began to think that Cypress Hill was one of hip-hop’s hall of fame bands. He didn’t know if he really bought into them being the group that made hip-hop acceptable to a rock audience, because that was just one cool video. But he began to think about their HOF credentials – B-Real’s unique nasal voice, DJ Muggs & Ruffhouse’s tight production, the excellent sampling choices, and their ability to merge hemp culture so seamlessly with the music. Not quite a hall of fame resume, but as soon as the reason they should go in started to form in his brain, he lost it.

Damn. As soothing as smoking ganja was, it sure screwed up his thought processes. And in his foggy mind Tim began to wonder if he should give it up. Then he got bummed about the new White Stripes. Was he being too tough on them for just wanting to step it up a level? Was he disappointed because everyone and everything around him – like Lilly’s body and Wally’s new job – was literally growing and moving forward while he was going nowhere? Wouldn’t he have to sober up and get it together for Lilly and the adventures of fatherhood? That’s all he needed was his kid getting hurt while he was high.

Tim’s little brother Slim brought him back to reality when he buzzed in. Wally followed soon after and regardless of what Tim was thinking before, it was time to pack a bowl or five. Since they needed some music to smoke to so Tim put on the Read Yellow debut EP as a preview for the show they were going to see later. It was noisy, hard stuff with grinding guitars and a good bit of shouting. Not in a schlocky, modern cock rock way, but much more like punks with chops. Tim was really into it – partly because he instinctively liked the music and partly because the head of the label, Mark Kates, had been involved with Beck, the Beasties and Nirvana, so he thought it would be good to form a friendship with the label by moving some units out of his store.

When Read Yellow finished, Slim wanted to hear At The Drive-In. Which reminded Wally of a song by Don Caballero, so they played that next. Which lead to rounds of old Helmet, then Hendrix and Hole because of "H" proximity, and finally back to Black Sunday. Just as "Insane In The Brain" came on, Tim noticed that it was an hour after Read Yellow was scheduled to play. Doh.

Suddenly a slightly altered version of Dean Wormer’s quote from "Animal House" started going through Tim’s mind – "stoned, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son."

~ ~ ~

Next episode: Tim buries a message of love in a mix CD for Lilly.

(Mike Webb is a volunteer staff writer for 2 Walls Webzine and has never worked at Tower Records.)