Metallica: Some Kind of Monster (2004)

Review by: Chelan David
Date: 9/1/04

Metallica: Some Kind of Monster reaffirmed my conviction that I should stick to watching documentaries. Blockbusters always disappoint and while I enjoy some indie films, it’s usually just bits and pieces that I like, rarely the whole flick.

Cult classics have become another pet peeve of mine. Lured to Donnie Darko and Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me by the premise that movies with such a rabid fan base must be good, I ended up wasting five hours of my life. Monster bunnies and dancing midgets aside, I still have no idea what these two films are about.

A documentary about Metallica I can understand. Idiot co-workers, a stressful job, binge drinking, hiring a $40,000 a month shrink – who hasn’t been there?

It turns out rock stars have the same problems as us. With the mounting pressures of work taking a toll on the band they decide to hire Phil, a "personal enhancement coach," from Kansas City, who has a predilection for ill-conceived sweaters featuring various shades of awful.

The first therapy session begins with Phil issuing a mission statement much to the bewilderment of the rock stars. Once the mystifying puzzle of a mission statement has been solved, Phil quickly forges an unlikely bond with the band, and an orgy of boundary development and reconciliation ensues.

Lucy, charging a nickel, could quickly diagnose the problem as a power struggle between James Hetfield, the singer/guitarist, and Lars Ulrich, the drummer. Phil, however, leisurely works towards the problem, not wanting to be too efficient lest he lose a possible $40,000 worth of billings. Hetfield and Ulrich carry on like an old drunk married couple until Hetfield finally goes to a rehab clinic. When Hetfield returns nothing changes except for his sobriety.

Kirk Hammett, the lead guitarist, keeps a low profile for most of the documentary, minding his own business and enduring the bitch sessions propagated by his band mates. However, when the value of his guitar solos is discussed he suddenly transforms into a fiery orator, more revivalist than resigned rocker, and wins his battle – well sort of. Under the watchful eye of Phil, the group decides that Hammett may possibly be awarded a guitar solo for some songs, but only if they reach a consensus.

Ulrich’s father and Dave Mustaine both make interesting guest appearances. Ulrich Sr., who looks like a wizard from "The Lord of the Rings," moseys into the recording studio and upon listening to one of the completed tracks for St. Anger, promptly informs the band that they need to go back to the mixing room.

Mustaine, Metallica’s former guitarist, was allegedly kicked out of the band for substance abuse and went on to form Megadeth. Clearly relishing the opportunity to make Ulrich squirm in a therapy session suggested by Phil, he expertly plays the role of a victim and milks Ulrich for as many pseudo-apologies as he can get.

The documentary is a fascinating look at the day-to-day life of an iconic band. In between therapy sessions the cameras also provide access to songs being developed from scratch, a video shoot held at a maximum security prison, auditions for a bass player and the ongoing struggle with Napster. To enjoy this film, however, you don’t need to be a Metallica fan, or even a music fan for that matter. The issues probed are universal - everything is just on a grander scale.

(Chelan David is a volunteer staff writer for 2 Walls Webzine.)