Last one in the PC pool is a rotten egg
October 2002
by Glenn Pfeifer

Er, I mean a date-challenged chicken embryo.

The battle of Political Correctness, or what I like to refer to as PN, political nonsense, took an interesting turn this week with regard to New York City's Columbus Day parade. NYC's new mayor Michael Bloomberg, invited two cast members from HBO's mafiosa masterpiece, The Sopranos, to march in the annual holiday event….(which by the way is so barely a holiday anymore that most working people don't even complain anymore when having to work on it…which I do every year). The astute committee that organizes the parade, The Italian-American something or other, took Bloomberg to court to block these ACTORS from marching. (Please note the emphasis on their profession). The Italian-American Columbus-Day parade people it seems, take offense to Tony Soprano's "family," stating that they stereotype Italian-Americans in a bad way, and we viewers should realize that Italian-Americans are not all Mafia thugs.

THANK YOU SO MUCH for pointing this out to me, Columbus Day parade organizers. I, for one, was encouraging my entire family to move out of New Jersey (where I was born & raised) lest they too be stereotyped as a Soprano fan, or worse yet, a Soprano viewer. Besides, I take offense to the parade committee's comments. The Soprano's depicts many NJer's exactly as I remember them; in those scratchy, nylon sweatsuits with big hair.

What the Italo-American parade committee (is that term allowed?) neglects to mention are some past parade grand marshals, like Frank Sinatra and one of the Gambino family heads. I suppose their ratings were not high enough at the time to warrant anyone getting upset over their inclusion, although their "alleged" Mafia ties are legendary.

I actually feel badly for Dominic Chianese and Lorraine Bracco (Uncle Junior & Dr. Melfi respectively). They are both fine actors on a well-written and well-acted TV series, but do not appear to have enough muscle to make it past the committee. Now, I ask you…if Bobby DeNiro or Al Pacino (who I'm not even convinced is Italian, but that's another story) wanted to march in the NYC Columbus Day Parade, do you think the parade organizers would say no? If you answer right, you win a dead fish.

How far do you think Political Correctness should go to protect Americans from thinking for themselves? I am writing a petition to Kelloggs as we speak because I am offended on many counts by their cereal. First, Snap, Crackle and Pop are all white males, which is not a representation of the American population as a whole. Second, Tony the Tiger offends stutterers everywhere who really do have trouble saying the word, "Grrrrrrreeeeeeeeaaaaaat!" Third, I liked the name Super Sugar Crisp and I am royally pissed that they are now trying to dupe me into believing that the sugar is gone. Wait a minute…that's Post, not Kelloggs, oh well…my letter will get to the right people.

The kicker in all this Columbus Day Parade mumbo-jumbo is the harsh fact that Columbus himself may not have actually been worthy of all the honor we bestow upon him. Recent history has actually uncovered that Columbus was a very violent man who wiped out every American Indian he could find in the New World. How much of this is true I really have no idea….as I'm not pretending here to be a historical reference.

However, I am 1/2 Italian American. My Mom's maiden name has 4 syllables and ends in an "e." Before my Grandpa Joe passed away, he used to pick up homemade Ravioli from Jersey City every Saturday so my extended family could enjoy it together every Sunday with Grandma Rose's "gravy." My feeling about this Mafia stuff is simply, "lighten up." If you look back at the history of Italy itself as a nation, it is clouded with scandal, tyranny, multiple overthrows of government and culture and a few evil men along the way (Does Facism ring a bell…?) who had nothing to do with the "Mob." Stop trying to dictate what entertains people, and please stop using that as an excuse to broadcast your rhetoric in the name of Italian Americans. That offends me more than any Soprano's episode.

And don't forget to return your copy of The Godfather Trilogy to Blockbuster…it's way overdue. -- gp fife

(Glenn Pfeifer is a volunteer staff writer for 2 Walls Webzine)