The designated hitter rule (revisited)
September 2002
by Mike Webb

Okay – I know this is pretty random, but Michael Walls said (in his writer profile) that he was against the DH rule, and I just about fell off of my walker. The designated hitter rule is one of the best things to happen to baseball since jumping out of the stands and beating up first base coaches became all the rage.

Look, it's simple. Pitchers can't hit. So why on earth does anyone want to see some guy who can barely hold a bat stand in the batter's box? Yeah, yeah, I know what you're gonna say. DH haters claim it takes away from the strategy of the game. Well I've got news for you. When you shrink a game from 27 outs to 24, you're not making it harder, you're making it easier. So there's no way you're adding to the strategy – other than to make the games longer by letting managers take more time to decide which Joe Millionaire should hit because one hits .246 against lefties, while the other hits .265 against righties. Whatever.

I'm sorry, but I have no problem with aging baseball greats getting a few more at bats to extend their careers. These are the guys who have the art of hitting down to a science, and it's great that they're able to play a little longer. How can anyone tell me that they'd rather see Greg Maddux ground out instead of Frank Thomas hit one out of the park. Hits are exciting. Outs are not (unless you're the Yankees in Game 7, Inning 9 of the 2001 World Series, but I digress…).

So go on – enjoy your little National League pitcher's duel. I'll be watching the Yanks, A's, Angels and Twins slug doubles and home runs. Best of all, I'll be watching with my girlfriend because chicks dig the long ball. Oh yeah.

(Mike Webb is a volunteer staff writer for 2 Walls Webzine)

Response from: Michael Walls
September 2002

I equate the designated hitter with telling Shaquille O'Neal that he doesn't have to run down the court anymore to play on defense. "Shaq, just stand under the basket and do what you do best!"

The DH takes away all of the things I was taught as a youngster in little league. "You catch the ball. You throw the ball. You hit the ball." What is the American League teaching kids now? "All right Billy, just practice your hitting. Catching and throwing aren't that important."

This is a game of skill, of talent, of strength. But most of all, this is a game of strategy. I know. All games are games of strategy. But there's something more chess-like in the strategy of baseball.

The DH in baseball is like turning the Bishop in a Chess set into an all-powerful "Terminator". It completely changes the dynamic of the game.

Answer something. What's your favorite "play" in baseball?

Many will say, the "homerun". Those interested in defense might say, the "double play". Those looking for excitement might say, the "throw to home" (the play at the plate).

My favorite play in baseball, is the successful "pitch-out/pickoff". There's something so skillful and almost extrasensory about a pitcher/ catcher/manager's ability to predict when the runner is going.

It's not exciting. It's not sexy. But, it's a skill. And it's only one of the reason's I love this game.

Fine. Call Coomer off the Yankee bench, and tell him to get his fat ass up to the plate and have him hack away. I love the homerun as much as anybody. But I can't help but feel like somebody's cheating when a guy doesn't have to run around the field, or dive for balls, then gets to take big swings.

As far as chick's "digging" the long ball – You know what? I'd be more impressed if a women said, "I think Greg Maddux should lay a bunt down the first base line to advance the runner to second." Oh yeah…

(Michael Walls is a volunteer staff writer for 2 Walls Webzine)

Response from: Brandon Copple
September 2002

What's the the great issue of our time? Abortion? Affirmative action? Unilateral vs inclusive foreign policy? No, and here's why. Walk into any corner bar in America and start asking people where they stand on the above matters. Yeah, there might be one unshaven drunkard who wants to lean over and hurl his opinions at you, along with a vile dose of his spittle (If you're in Chicago, it might be me. Please introduce yourself!). But chances are nobody else will want to talk about it.

However, walk into a bar and shout 'long live the DH.' Then put 'em up, mister, 'cause you've just opened debate on the greatest American barroom question since Tastes Great/Less Filling.

So it was only a matter of time before it came up here. I may as well weigh in.

I agree with Mike W. No, the other one.

Alright, very funny. I'm with Walls, for the usual tiresome purist reasons, and maybe one more. Anecdote: A few years ago in Kansas City a series of outfied injuries led a local reporter to ask Royals DH Chili Davis about the possibility of playing right field if necessary. "Hell no," Davis said. "I don't even own a baseball glove." I wanted to toss my nachos. I mean, first of all, my policy as a baseball fan is No glove, No love. Second, this struck me, somehow, as yet another symptom of the mercenary mind-set that has taken over the game.

Of course, free agency and baseball's way-fucked economics are more to blame for the soldier-of-fortune mentatlity than the DH is. But the rule helps guys like Chili Davis, well past their prime and down to a single skill, to hang around forever, selling their bat to a different team every year and piling up the millions.

Don't get me wrong – I love to watch great hitters hit. And because hitting is as much moxy as jocksy, I'd rather watch fatso veteran Edgar Martinez work a pitcher than see talented, young, stupid Corey Patterson flail at junky breaking stuff.

But look at the best hitter in baseball. In the past two years there've been few joys as great as watching Barry Bonds hit. Every at-bat is a pleasure, and part of the pleasure comes from the knowledge that Bonds is a real ball player. He plays left field. He's on the same team every year. He occasionally tussles with Jeff Kent. These are the things a professional baseball player should do.

As for Chili Davis, he played a couple more seasons for the Royals. I once saw him homer from both sides of the plate in consecutive at bats. Then his contract expired and he hit the free agent circuit. And guess who picked him up? The Yankees. The fucking Yankees. The wealthiest, most detested, arrogant, gluttonous gang of shitheels in the league. Old Chili helped them win another World Series. No glove required.

(Brandon Copple is a volunteer staff writer for 2 Walls Webzine)

Response from: Adam Thompson
November 2002

I would like to ressurect Nancy Reagan's slogan from the '80s: JUST SAY NO...to the DH!

There is a reason why when people talk about NL baseball they commonly use the term, "small-ball." Every run is important. Runners in scoring position are like saffron in the NL where as the AL treats them like salt. Why is this? Because in the NL you are missing a bat. Yes, there I said it. Pitchers can't hit – but they can sac-bunt and there is nothing more honorable than taking one for the team.

Strategy is diminished with DH. Sure, the pull-the-pitcher move is 9 out of 10 times a no brainer, but the simple fact is that NL managers bunt and AL managers don't. The bunt is at the core of baseball strategy – move the runner over.

Come on folks, pitchers play once every 5 games and now we are cutting that responsibility in half? During their days off why don't they take a few swings in the cage? There was a time they could swing the bat or else they wouldn't have made it as far as they have into the major leagues.

Maybe I am wrong. Let's start groomin DH's at the little league level. You know the tubby kid with no range and a bad glove that you stick in right field – just let him hit.