Olympic Badminton and Shuttlecock Fever
August 1, 2004
by Craig Curtice

Never mind NBC’s endless stream of sappy human-interest stories and over-hyped basketball games this Olympics, the real action in Athens will be on the badminton courts. I know what you’re thinking, “Badminton is an Olympic sport? How in the hell did that happen?”

You didn’t read it here, but there are unfounded rumors swirling that Marco Polo might be added as an Olympic exhibition sport. Thing is, running barefoot around slippery pool decks is really dangerous, and there are language concerns too – “Es fishy out of aqua?” “Nee!” The Olympic committee may also be considering the inclusion of Tetherball, Glass-Stacking, and Grocery Bagging. We’ll see.

So anyway, world-class badminton is played a hundred times faster than the lackadaisical backyard giggle-fests on display here in the USA. In fact British champ Simon Archer has been clocked smashing a shuttlecock 192 MPH, and let me tell you – a screaming shuttlecock to the groin is no laughing matter. Well, okay of course it is. You know staying serious about badminton is harder than you think.

Hey it’s easy to goof on badminton as a sport because Football, NASCAR and Golf – none of which are Olympic sports – consume the vast majority of America’s attention. People don’t know (or care) about badminton’s centuries-old heritage and Asia’s amazing mastery of the game. China and Indonesia alone have dominated for decades, (they’ve won like 70 percent of all world championships since 1934) and for important tournaments it’s normal to see crowds of 15,000 people.

The 2004 Athens games figures that China, Denmark, and Korea are again heavy favorites to win medals, but Malaysia could be this year’s dark horse with men’s singles studs Wong Choong Hann, Roslin Hashim, and Lee Cong Wei. In the men’s doubles competition Korea’s YooYung Song & Lee Dong Soo, and Kim Dong Moon & Ha Tae Kwon look pretty darn good this year. It’s basically the same story on the women’s side too, as Asian countries should easily dominate.

Where do the Americans stand this Olympics? Pretty much at the back, but there’s always a Jamaican bobsledders chance of winning a bronze via a technicality. The best bet America has for a first-ever badminton medal is in men’s doubles, where veterans Kevin Han and Howard Bach hope to duplicate a gold medal performance at last year’s Pan Am Games. Unless Monday Night Badminton replaces football, the Olympics are pretty much only time you’ll catch these intensely hypnotic contests on television.

Maybe some kid watching tape-delayed badminton at 4:00 AM might be inspired enough to someday become the Great Western Hope or The Michael Jordan of Badminton. Only then might Quentin Tarantino finally get to direct his top-secret project, Shuttlecock Fever—The Swinging Life of Johnny Smash.

Sorry badminton, I just couldn’t help myself.

(Craig Curtice is a volunteer staff writer for 2 Walls Webzine that’s hoping Whiffle Ball will someday be recognized as an Olympic sport.)