Confessions of a Sports Junkie
September 15, 2003
by Michael Walls

I love sports. I have my favorites – baseball and football – but I’ll watch just about anything that has a ball and grown men chasing it, hitting it, or running with it. Sports to me represent the solution to all the world’s problems. If governments or people could only solve their disagreements by putting on sneakers and athletic gear and competing for 120 minutes, the world would be a happier place. This is, of course, assuming those government or people agreed to abide by the rules and allow the final score to dictate world policy or personal solutions – rather then bomb the shit out of each other anyway.

But I digress. This is about my problem – not about making excuses for my problem. After all, sports are silly if you think about it. Grown men, chasing after, hitting, or running with – balls. At the end of the day what have they solved? I could understand it if at the end of a competition world hunger was solved, or cancer was cured, or wars were avoided. But at the end of any typical sporting match – nothing of consequence has changed.

As big a sports fan I am – I do see the meaninglessness of it all. When I see teams kneeling in prayer before a big game, I wonder what they’re praying for. “Dear God, I know there are people suffering in world right now – but could you please help us kick Tampa Bay’s ass? Amen.”

But knowing all this still doesn’t stop me from kneeling in front of the TV set with 5 second left on the clock and a kicker lining up a 45-yard field goal attempt – or 2 out, 2 on, down by 1 in the bottom of the 9th and Derek Jeter up at the plate.

I can’t help it. I get drawn in. I’m a sport junkie. An addict. But like most addicts, I like to blame others for my affliction. And in my case I’d like to blame the media, including ESPN, ESPN2, ESPN Classics, Fox Sports, WFAN, Mike & The Mad Dog, The NY Post, The Sporting News and the New York Times. I also blame the Internet, specifically Yahoo, Sandbox, cbs.sportsline.com, ESPN.com, and up-to-the-minute statistical reporting for $2.99/month. And lastly I blame the NFL, MLB, NBA, and NHL. All partially responsible for supplying my junk product of choice – in unnecessary excess with intent to addict.

Do we really need 4,860 baseball games in a season (162 games x 30 teams)? Do we really need to talk about a football match-up for seven days prior to a game? Do we really need to overlap the baseball and football seasons by three months? Do we really need a top 10 plays-of-the-day each morning on ESPN? Do we really need an entire channel dedicated to the NY Yankees?

I have always enjoyed sports, but I’ve seen my interest increase rapidly over the years. I thought it was partially because my teams started winning and winning is very addictive. But I remember the old days when if you didn’t actually see a game, you’d have to wait until the next day to read about the score in the paper, or wait until the end of the 11 o’clock newscast to catch the game’s highlights.

But now, sports is so readily available, instant gratification is a minimum requirement. And even providing that instant gratification isn’t enough for the sports industry. Now they’re shoving it down our throats, along with tasteless side dishes of product advertising and marketing schemes. Sports highlight reels brought to you by beer companies, shaving equipment, motor oil, and other strategically and demographically-targeted products.

If sports broadcasts seem longer then they use to be, it isn’t your imagination. If you’ve ever been to an NFL football game, you’d actually get to witness players, coaches and referees wandering around waiting for the commercial break to end. That’s right – commercials are dictating the speed and length of game play.

Aside from the obvious commercialism of sports – professional sports as a competitive entertainment is no longer a matter of personal or team accomplishment or even pride – it’s about product marketing and revenue – as George Steinbrenner has publicly demonstrated for decades as owner of the Yankees. Whereas at the high school level you’re playing for nothing but team pride and to be “Number 1!” Pro sports is all about filling seats (at the highest price the market will allow), selling merchandise (which includes offering games on your own cable channel), and marketing players like country fair prize pigs.

Lastly, the Internet’s fantasy sports industry is a brilliant marketing scheme. Now, instead of only paying attention to my local sports team and individual players, I’m forced to take notice of other players and other team in other markets and follow their progress throughout the season. I’m forced to search and view scores and highlights of teams I don’t even care about.

So is all of this necessary to fully enjoy sports? The addict in me says “Yes!” But the human being in me screams “No, leave me alone! Let me live my life!”

Of course, like a smoker who knows his cigarettes lead to cancer, or like a drinker who knows alcohol leads to liver damage – I know that October leads to baseball playoffs. And when October arrives, I don’t care if the President is speaking or there’s a war on CNN. I don’t care about “Must See TV” or whether Joey and Rachel are sleeping together. I don’t care about the next season of Survivor, Big Brother or the Amazing Race. The only reality series I’m interested in – is a Red Sox-Yankees American League Championship Series.

(Michael Walls is a volunteer staff writer for 2 Walls Webzine)