Top 10 Most Annoying Ad Campaigns
November 15, 2003
by Michael Walls

Here is my list of the top 10 most annoying ad campaigns on television (in no particular order). These are the commercials that make me change the channel, leave the room, or make me want to put my foot through the screen. Enjoy.

	1. Verizon Wireless: “Can you hear me now?” I would love to see a final commercial where the Verizon tech geek gets beaten to death by all the people he annoys with his constant, repetitive question. Visions of an old lady whacking him over the head with her cane saying, “yeah, I hear you just fine.” Whack.
	2. Mastercard: “Priceless” Is there any place that doesn’t accept Visa, but does accept Mastercard? What is the difference between Visa and Mastercard? Why is Mastercard even advertising anyway? This campaign has gone on long enough. They are no longer funny, touching, or even interesting. They’re just annoying. I’m throwing out all my Mastercards.
	3. Capital One: “No hassle Card” The creative group for this ad campaign shouldn’t be allowed to work ever again. How many different ways can we depict “barbarians” coming to “rob and pillage” you because of your high interest rate? Hmmm…we can do Vikings, and Pirates, and Nomads, and Barbarians, and Monsters, and…
	4. Coors: “…and twins!” This campaign was kinda cool and sexy the first thousand times I saw it. All these good-looking people partying at the beach, a football game, a house party, with a hot set of blonde twins in every commercial – everyone singing, “Here’s to Football!” or “Here’s to Summer!” But at some point it just became a parody of itself and comes off as absolute lunacy. Coors sucks anyway.
	5. Subway: “Jared” I will never set foot in a Subway ever again. I have this fear that I will actually run into Jared (maybe doing a promotional thing or something) and will not be able to keep myself from putting my fist through his chicken-teriyaki-club-sandwich-eating face. Even some of the people in his commercials seem like they’re refraining from strangling this annoying, intrusive spokesman.
	6. 1-800-COLLECT or 1-800-CALL-ATT First off, haven’t they removed all of the pay phones on earth yet? Hell, most people don’t even have a phone at home anymore. The cellular companies must watch these commercials and scratch their heads, wondering “this is what we’re up against?” Second, when’s the last time you received a collect call? 1987? If an operator even gets far enough to convince me she’s not a telemarketer, I wouldn’t accept a collect call from anyone, for fear of it being a prank.
	7. Zocor, Zyrtec, Flonase, Allegra, etc. I realize there must be some sort of FDA requirement by these drug manufacturers to list all of the side effects of their drugs – but can’t we just say “there might be some side effects, please read the label, etc.”? I mean, I know everything has potential side effects – but what’s next? The potential side effects of our favorite snacks or condiments? “Hellmann’s Mayonnaise has been known to cause rectal leakage, nose bleeds, dizziness, headaches, stomach cramping and hallucinations. Please consult your physician before using.”
	8. Geico: “I just saved a bunch on my car insurance” First we had the not-so-clever-play-on-words character, Gecko the Lizard. And now, these super serious scenes interrupted by “I just saved a bunch on my car insurance.” I guess when it comes to car insurance, there isn’t much room for “interesting” advertising.
	9. 10-10-987: “John Stamos” I liked John Stamos better when he was a mullet-wearing rock-and-roll wannabee. What’s up with this waif-like, tight t-shirt-wearing, homosexual-type Stamos, hawking phone services to people in weird places, with this “Cops”-like camera work and no script? Most of these people look like they just want him to stop touching them and leave.
	10. Dell Computer: The Dell interns I understand that Dell is targeting the young and stupid, by using these young and stupid interns (following Steven the “Dell Dude” campaign). But kids aren’t buying these computers, the parents are. Why do I want to buy a computer from a company that lets these idiots work at the Dell plant – turning off lights, and tripping over things, and acting like bunch of morons. I want a computer that was built in a plant where no kids are allowed.

(Michael Walls is a volunteer staff writer for 2 Walls Webzine)