The Orcutt Diet – Beer, Coffee and Baby Carrots
July 1, 2004
by Chris Orcutt

I’ve always been very lucky in that I’ve never had to worry about my weight. I could eat anything I wanted, drink tons of beer, never exercise, and never gain a pound. But then about 2 years ago I started to put on weight. Maybe it was just me getting older but I slowly gained about 15 pounds. And not that I’m vain or anything but I started to feel like crap about myself because of it. I couldn’t tuck my shirt in because my stomach (ok, beer gut, that’s probably what it was) stuck out, and I could see the onset of a double chin on the horizon.

So what to do? Something had to change. Luckily my girlfriend (who is very good about taking care of herself and a doctor to boot) decided to try that South Beach diet. I did it along with her and we both agreed that it completely sucks. There's no flexibility in the recipes and the ingredients for the meals are pretty expensive and somewhat hard to find. And we were both hungry all the time. Who wants to live life like that? Not me.

So then I took a look at the Atkins diet. It looks like total horseshit to me. You know how one day we hear that eggs are good for us and the next day we hear they’re the worst things in the world? I think that’s going to happen with Atkins. I’m generally pretty leery about anything that goes against common sense, and it just doesn’t seem right that you can eat all that meat, lose weight, and not do some harm to yourself. Plus – and this is kind of a worldview, I guess – I’ve never found anything in life that gives you something for nothing, and that’s what the Atkins diet seems to be.

So I kept looking around but the one thing that seems to be wrong with all these diet-of-the-month fads is that, sure, you might lose weight while you’re on it but you’ll just gain it back when you go off. I realized that I didn’t need a specific diet, I needed to change the way I eat. Permanently. But I also didn’t want to be miserable and hungry all of the time. You have to be happy, you know?

So I used common sense and came up with a "program" (for lack of a better word) that worked for me and though of course each person’s body is different, I can say that if you do what I’ve done you’ll probably lose weight, feel better, and not be hungry. It’s in no way based on anything medical; this is just what worked for me. I’ve lost 15 pounds in a month and am totally happy with what I eat. The whole thing is based on a ridiculously obvious idea: don’t eat a lot. I know it sounds simplistic but it works.

Okay, here we go...

Breakfast: I drink a good amount of coffee, probably around 3 or 4 cups a day. I always have and didn’t want to change this. But for breakfast I used to eat 2 eggs with ham and mozzarella cheese on a buttered roll. Delicious, but I might as well have just stapled the thing to my gut – these things have tons of calories. I switched from this to an apple, a banana, and a can of V8. I’m not going to lie; it was tough. I’d eat breakfast around 9:30 or so and be starving by 11. But honestly, after about a week, I wasn’t getting hungry until lunchtime, around noon. I don’t know if this will happen to everyone (or even if it’s true!) but I’ve heard that once you stop eating a lot of food, your stomach shrinks and you don’t get as hungry.

Lunch: I used to get a big ass-sandwich on a hero roll, like roast beef with cheese, mayo, lettuce & tomato, plus a bag of chips. And a soda. Now I usually get tuna on wheat bread. Or ham, or chicken salad. It doesn’t really matter what you get, it just should not be a lot of anything. The chips were a little tough to kick but now I really don’t miss them. For a drink, sometimes I get water but usually a diet soda does it just fine. I’ve tried salads for lunch but there’s usually just not enough there to keep me happy. Plus all of that low-calorie dressing tastes awful.

Dinner: Lots of vegetables. I do stir-frys with broccoli, onions, chicken, and maybe some teriyaki sauce. Sometimes I have fish, or steak, or pork chops on the old George Foreman, which cuts down on the fat. Grilling is a great way to go too: a lot of the fat gets cooked off (I use the GF because I live in the city and can’t really grill). With the meat, have a small portion and fill up on the vegetables. You can go to any big chain store like Bed, Bath, and Beyond or Crate and Barrel and get a vegetable steamer for like $5. It’s really just a little metal basket that you put in a pot with a tiny bit of water. Boil the water, put the vegetables (green beans, broccoli, cauliflower, or just about anything) in the basket, throw some spices in, cover it up and in about 4 or 5 minutes you've got great tasting vegetables that aren’t mushy.

Exercise: I do work out after dinner 2 or 3 times a week, maybe around 8:30pm or so, but it’s not the calorie-burning aerobic stuff. I’ve just been doing weights and upper body workouts so I don’t feel like a total loser when I take off my shirt at the beach. I don’t think it’s helped me lose weight but it has made me feel a lot better about myself, which ties into the dieting. After working out I’m usually hungry again so before I go to bed I just have some of those little carrots. They fill me up and I can’t imagine that they have a lot of calories.

That’s really about it. Maybe the best thing about this "program" is that it’s unbelievably flexible. Here’s a good example: I really like beer, especially Guinness. I go out once or twice a week, and come home and get a monster sandwich to lessen the hangover before I go to bed. And if I’m extra hungry in the morning, maybe I’ll skip the fruit and have a danish. But once I hit lunch I get back into my routine. I’m sure if I didn’t do this I would have lost weight more quickly but, again, you have to be happy, you know?

Well, if anyone decides to try this, good luck! I’d love to hear how you made out.

(Chris Orcutt is a volunteer staff writer for 2 Walls Webzine)