( 12:24 PM )
BRITNEY SPEARS TOPLESS IN A HUMVEE
We almost lost me this morning. I was sitting at the computer in my living room, reading about how Kansas kicked hell out of Wyoming last night, when I noticed my eyelids getting heavy, my pulse slowed to three-quarter time and my lust for life draining fast. All the signs of an ensuing coma. Luckily, I instantly diagnosed the source of this swelling lethargy: Fresh Air. I had left the radio tuned to NPR following the morning news, and for the last half hour it had been playing Teri Gross’s interview with Joe Lieberman and his wife.
I’m sure you recognize what a dangerous combination this could be, this cocktail made with one part brushy Teri monotone, two parts incessantly reasonable Lieberman droning. I got up and switched the goddamn thing off, and just in time. Any longer and I would’ve needed an adrenaline injection, a big fucking needle rammed into my heart to avert the catatonic slumber that can result from listening to lethally mellow public radio hosts.
Disaster averted. Neko coming out of my speakers now. Passion in her voice and in the air. But just to be on the safe side, I’m gonna make some more coffee.
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