( 5:07 PM )
DRIPPING WET LATINAS
In today's news, some daredevil idiot named Aron Ralston got himself trapped under a boulder in Utah and had to cut off his own arm with a pocketknife to get free. Amazingly, he then dressed the wound, rapelled down a rock wall and found somebody to help him call for a rescue helicopter.
Denver Post story.
If you read far enough you'll notice the oh-by-the-way news that there is a precedent for this. Ten years ago some fisherman cut off his own leg and then drove himself to the hospital!
Are you fucking serious? He drove himself to the hospital? After he chopped off a leg? Who says there are no heroes? I bet he thinks this Ralston kid is a total pussy for calling a rescue helicopter. Fucking get on your bike and pedal out of there, pantywaist.
And I wonder what it must've been like when this madman showed up at the hospital that day in October 1993. Maybe something like this...
'Can I help you sir?'
'Yes--I think so. I'm afraid I've had to cut off one of my legs.'
[Nodding, typing] 'Which leg?'
'Oh, um, left, just below the knee.'
'Is it currently bleeding?'
'No, not too bad.'
'And when did this occur, sir?'
'Well, let's see, the boulder fell on me about, oh, eight hours ago, I'd say.'
'I mean when did you amputate the leg, sir? How long since you cut the leg off?'
'Ah yes, of course. I'm sorry. About two hours.'
'Well!'
'I know, but it took me more than an hour just to crawl back to the car. The drive in wasn't so bad. Still have the right foot!'
'And have you brought the amputated portion of your leg with you?'
'No, afraid not. Left it under the boulder.'
'Please fill out these forms and the doctor will be with you in a few minutes.'
'Could I use your pen?'
#
|
