( 2:01 PM )
Thoughts for the day
I’m sitting in the lunch area of my office today, reading the sports page and watching CNN at the same time. Here’s some thoughts for today:
CNN vs. WWF: Wolf Blitzer stages a quick debate between Congressmen Joe Wilson, Republican from South Carolina, and Ed Markey, Democrat from Massachusetts, regarding some general issues facing the country. I feel like I’m watching some sort of puppet show. Both congressmen represent their party to the fullest, and at no time during this 8-minute charade, do I feel like anyone is telling me how they REALLY feel. Markey is the voice of doom and gloom, while Wilson is the voice of optimistic stupidity.
When asked to express their thoughts on Homeland Security, Markey goes straight into the standard Democratic position of “not enough money being spent”, “innocent Americans being harassed at the airports, while 98% of cargo goes uninspected” etc, etc. (Which would be horrifying if it were true.) Wilson jumps on the Bush bandwagon by stating he’s “seen first-hand the national guard and emergency services hard at work protecting our country” and “feels perfectly safe”. (Which would be comforting if it were true.)
Meanwhile, Wolf Blitzer has a difficult time keeping his political affiliation a secret (even though he never voices an opinion) by cutting off Markey about 8 seconds into each of his answers by saying, “Joe, your rebuttal?” and smiling (in that unhuman, terminator-like smile which you can barely see) whenever Wilson says “boo”.
The WWF is starting to look more real then CNN.
Roger Clemens vs. The entire city of Boston: What is the problem with Boston fans? I use to be a Red Sox fan, and I still secretly root for them now and again. After all, I’m a baseball fan first, and I like a good game. But this “Clemens is a traitor” crap has got to stop. For crying out loud people, the Red Sox let Clemens' lease expire in ’96 – he didn’t quit or jump ship. When the season ended, the Red Sox management thought he was getting old and fat and didn’t have his stuff anymore, so they let him shop his talents elsewhere. So he took a job offer from the Blue Jays. Christ, he didn’t even go directly to New York. He stopped by Toronto to pick up a couple of Cy Young awards before heading to the big apple. So, what’s the problem?
After watching the Yanks and Sox series this week, your energies might be better spent in trying to get your Boston Red Sox players to shave (Nomar, Wakefield, Veritek, Millar) or shower (Walker, Manny) or just show up to the game (Pedro).
Ruben vs. Clay: First off, I don’t watch American Idol. But my wife does, and I get to hear about it every week. So the big news, apparently, is the upset by Ruben. But it probably doesn’t really matter who won because both of them are all over the media and can pretty much count on a truckload of money.
I’m pretty disgusted with this whole trends of television programming as it is (reality shows, talent shows, etc.) but American Idol just annoys me a bit more. Maybe it’s because I know how many really talented artists and musicians are out there, writing music, singing and performing and struggling to get noticed. I often wonder – what do these people think about American Idol? Here you are, a struggling musician or songwriter, perhaps doing it for years on end, knocking on doors, sending out demos, playing bars and clubs, hoping somebody with some pull hears you someday. Then you see Clay and Ruben, singing McCartney tunes on FOX, only to get a million dollar contract. That’s gotta make you sick.
Roundup: Still watching CNN, but now we’ve got a commercial. “Roundup Weed Killer”. This commercial shows two guys spraying a weed in the driveway. Apparently, Roundup “Kills weeds within 24 hours”. 24 hours? This is how stupid the American television-viewing public has gotten, that we’ll buy a product that claims to kill weeds “within 24 hours”? Dude, just bend over and yank it out of the ground.
( 1:57 PM )
New York
I enjoyed Matt’s blog from yesterday (5/14/03). Enough so, that I think I’m able to put together an addendum or response or just general continuation of the topic. The topic being (I'm paraphrasing so bare with me, ahem…) “why are New Yorkers in such a god damn rush?” Or probably a polite way of asking “why are New Yorkers such assholes?”
Now, I know Matt qualified his question by saying “… not every east-coast resident acts like a spoiled 5-year old on crystal methamphetamine”, which is the politically correct way of saying, “I know a guy from New York, and he’s doesn’t act like this”. But as an outsider living within the boundaries of the legally zoned area known as the “tri-state area”, I’d like to comment.
New Yorkers are always in a rush because if you stop to smell the roses or stomp around in them in your bare feet, you’ll get plowed over by one of the 12 million other commuters.
I’m originally from New Hampshire, schooled in Maine, and have always appreciated the slow-paced, scenic, quiet life. After college, I spent about 10 years living on Long Island (the world’s largest strip mall) and working in NYC. I learned a lot, met my wife, and grew as a person because of these 10 years. But for the most part, I hated it.
But, I learned to understand these people, and for a while I became one of them. In New York, if you are not aggressive and in a rush at all times, you get left behind. Physically (i.e., the commuter trains don’t wait to you). Professionally (i.e., the squeaky wheel gets the oil). And mentally (i.e., if you don’t adapt, you’d go insane).
Working in NYC, you become very aware of time. Everything revolves around the time of day (which I know is true everywhere, but on a crowded little island which houses the world financial markets, every minute is significant). Because of this time issue, you lose patience with other people who cause you to waste time. You also become very cynical and wary of stranger’s intentions. Politeness is a rarity and is often dismissed as a sales ploy. I’ve seen business men practical knock over little old ladies to get to a seat on the bus or train. But I’ve also seen little old ladies curse out business men with a trucker’s mouth and sometimes fight for that seat.
Offensive driving is the standard approach to maneuvering a vehicle through and around the city. Directional blinkers are taboo, and only signal your intention to change lanes or turn, thus giving surrounding drivers a head start on the “cut-you-off” process. The Brooklyn-Queens Expressway (BQE) is what they based the movie Road Warrior on. Without exaggeration, I’ve driven the BQE (usually at night) and have seen cars driving in the wrong direction, cars driving while on fire, trucks driving while on fire, no signs, wrong signs, signs that have been incorrect for years. All of this while sometimes driving in excess of 80 miles per hour, two feet behind the car in front of you, and two feet in front of the car behind you. (If you slow down, you’re dead.)
10 years of this can break a man or can re-condition him.
I visited Atlanta once, and while pulling up to a stoplight, the driver next to me was signaling me to roll down my window. Assuming I had cut him off or something, I prepared to tell him he was driving like my grandmother and might consider taking mass transit. As I rolled down the window, he pointed at my car door and said, “Howdy! Just wanted to let you know that yer seatbelt is caught in yer door!” I looked down, and sure enough, my seatbelt was dragging along the asphalt. I was little taken back by this and hesitated for a second before saying, “Oh….I know that. Why don’t you mind YER own frickin’ business.” Then took off as the light turned green. I felt bad, but I was already in the defensive mindset and was unable to come up with, “Oh…thank you very much. You have YERself a nice day!” on the spur of the moment.
I now live and work in Connecticut, and I’m all better now.
( 2:28 PM )
Wandering the Mall
I work right next to the mall. Actually, my office building is connected to the mall. When people come to visit me at work, I usually tell them to park in the mall parking garage and give them directions through the mall to my office building. My mom visited once, and had to convince her on her cell phone, as she got lost on “level A”, that I didn’t actually work at the Gap or Starbucks.
Once in a while on my lunch break I wander the mall. Usually I head straight to Sam Goody (for CD browsing), Waldenbooks (for uh..books), Filenes (for the latest in men’s fashions), KB Toys (for toys), or this cheesy sport memorabilia shop (to see if they’ve got any Yankee bobblehead dolls that I don’t already have).
Today I simply wandered. I was also feeling very observant today. And I’d like to share one of those observations.
What’s up with Victoria’s Secret and the gigantic billboards depicting semi-pornographic, heroin chic-looking, bra and panty models, looking like prostitutes in some Amsterdam red-light district boutique?
I mean, I’m a man, and I appreciate the female form as much as any man. But when I’m walking through the mall and innocently glance to the right and there’s nothing to look at except a gigantic panty crotch, you can’t even divert your eyes to something else, when someone catches you. At least at Waldenbooks, when your standing at the magazine rack, you can pretend to read Forbes magazine while you discretely scan the covers of Maxim and Playboy and Muscle & Fitness.
I’ve also got kids. Two boys. Now, I don’t want to come off as an over-protective, bible-thumping purist parent or anything, but I don’t think it’s necessary for young kids to be exposed – nix that – bombarded with overt sexual images while heading to KB Toys with their parents to look for Spongebob or Jimmy Neutron stuff.
Between the Victoria’s Secret display and the rotating billboards for the latest sexed-up reality show (today’s was called “The Next Model”, showing 12 or so lingerie models fawning over each other), the mall has become a smut advertising venue.
I know what you childrenless readers are thinking. But, a 3 year old boy notices everything. He’s a human sponge. Absorbing all stimuli. And right now, I’m having a hard enough time explaining the alphabet and numbers to him, then to have to explain why we can’t walk around the mall in our underwear like the VS models do.
Unless you have kids of your own, you won’t understand.
( 3:01 PM )
The Daily Planet
Looking for a HOT investment? Something that will always be UP? Where GOING DOWN isn’t always a bad thing? Well, here’s your chance to get in on the ground floor of the world’s first publicly traded brothel. The Daily Planet, touting itself as “a very busy five-star hotel”, is located in Melbourne, Australia.
Today they began issuing shares of their company and plan to get listed in July.
Here’s their website: http://www.dailyplanet.com.au/content2/index.html
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