( 11:51 AM )
VH1’s Top 100 of the last 25 Years—What went wrong?
It’s time to vent about VH1’s Top 100 songs of the last 25 years. I won’t cover songs that didn’t make the list that should have. I’ll leave that to those more expert than myself. I do have a few problems with songs that made the list.
There are a lot of selections that I could attack. But I’m willing to give the list-happy tools at VH1 a little leeway. So I’ve narrowed it down to a few that I know cannot be on that list…
#99 “Don’t Know Why” by Norah Jones
Maybe it does belong on the list. But I am formally protesting it because I don’t get the hype over this song. And believe me, I’ve listened to it plenty. The goddamn “mix” radio station I am forced to suffer through at work has it in very heavy rotation and probably will until long after we’re all dead. Goddamn Clear Channel…
#78 “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)” by Green Day
You have got to be fucking kidding me. This piece of schlock? When Dookie came out Green Day was HUGE! MTV was all Green Day all the time. This album further fueled the new punk movement (for what it’s worth) and kept loud rock in the cultural crosshairs. Songs like “Basket Case,” “Longview,” and “Welcome to Paradise” had far more significance than this horrible ballad that became a staple of pop radio. Just because a band crosses over with a song, it doesn’t make that their most important work. Sickening…
#61 “I Want it That Way” by Backstreet Boys
I’m sorry, but that tune ain’t gonna hold up. Besides, I can’t hear that song without laughing and thinking of the parody Howard Stern did called, “The Gay Way.”
#39 “Free Fallin’” by Tom Petty
39? That’s a joke. I can think of at least 5 Tom Petty songs off the top of my head that should be higher than this piece of crap. And I’m not a big Tom Petty fan! It’s becoming obvious that this list is all about picking songs that got the most radio airplay.
#29 “Born in the USA” by Bruce Springsteen
I’m a huge Bruce fan, so I won’t argue with him being on the list. But this song is the wrong one. “Dancing in the Dark” was the song that made that album a huge hit. That was the song that propelled him to the highest echelon of superstars along with Michael, Prince, and Madonna. Not sure how Born in the USA got on this list.
#16 “Don’t Speak” by No Doubt
This is completely out of the blue. I have no explanation for this. It’s not a bad song. I just don’t have any idea how it made this list, especially at #16 surrounded by songs like “Fight the Power,” “You Shook Me All Night Long” and “Another Brick in the Wall.” Baffling.
#5 “One” by U2
“With or Without You” should be in this spot. ‘Nuff said. Although I should mention that WOWY clocked in at #21.
Trust me, I exercised much restraint here. While I was watching this on VH1 I found myself saying. “Whaaaaaaa?” every time they unveiled another song. You can’t please everybody, but couldn’t they have geared this list a little more toward rock snobs. I guess that’s tough to do when you are relying on people like Brian McKnight and the lead singer from Train to provide insight.
Another thing that bothered me was how they asked MC Lyte about every rap song. Doesn’t she listen to anything but rap? It’s like they went to her and said, “OK, Ms. Lyte, we need someone to comment on Negro music. Perhaps you could help us out.” They could have asked her about a couple of white tunes, couldn’t they?
One more thing about this list. VH1 loves to get Melissa Etheridge’s opinion on anything and everything. She is the queen of overstatement.
VH1: Hey Melissa, what do you think about “Iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls?
Melissa: Wow, that song just blows me away every time I hear it. I laugh, I cry, I cut myself. All hyperbole aside, it is without a doubt the greatest song ever written.
One comment about a song that didn’t make the list: No “Centerfold!” That threatens the credibility of the entire list.
Underrated song I just rediscovered: “Family Man” by Hall and Oates. I was a huge H&O fan as a kid. I forgot about this song. It’s great! Sure it has a terrible 80s arrangement—few songs from that decade don’t. Just give it a chance.
On a completely unrelated topic, Bulls guard Jay Williams (formerly Jason Williams, the guy from Duke—too may J. Williams associated with the NBA) spilled his brand new motorcycle yesterday and apparently broke his leg. The Bulls will not comment on his injuries or their seriousness. Looks like the curse of Bobby Hurley has reared its ugly head.
A couple of weeks ago I made a startling discovery about myself. I can name all six characters from Friends. I’m talking first and last names. I am not proud of this fact, nor am I excited about possessing this information. I don’t know how this happened. I blame my wife.
( 1:18 PM )
Wow, it’s been far too long since my last post. Chalk it up to a week’s vacation and another week of complete laziness. But it’s time to get back on the horse with a stream of consciousness rant about everything and nothing.
I swear to god, every time I watch a Yankee game and Roger Clemens is pitching, he gets hurt. It’s either a comebacker that catches him on his pitching hand, or a groin pull, or a hangnail, or a stab wound to the throat. I know he’s in tremendous shape for a 57 year old guy, and that he works out 10 hours a day and 15 in the offseason. But maybe his age is starting to show. Also consider the fact that he can’t win his 300th game to save his life. If he gets stuck on 299 for the rest of the year and decides to retire, he’s not getting my Hall of Fame vote. Not that I have a Hall of Fame vote.
Speaking of the Hall of Fame, this Sammy Sosa Corkgate incident has me rethinking the entire game. I am now convinced that 90% of baseball players would do almost anything to improve their power at the plate. They’re all guilty until proven innocent. This is not the same game that I grew up watching. The record books as they exist pre-live-ball era should be frozen in time. Start the new ones from 1995. All Hall of Fame voters must not compare anyone’s stats to traditional baseball players, only against guys from this era. That will make it easy to keep Fred McGriff out of Cooperstown. We’ll have to wait on Raffy Palmeiro and see how his numbers play out with guys over the next 25 or 30 years. Better to hold off for now. Once he’s in, you can’t kick him out.
As for Sosa, I really wish I had gone to the game at Camden Yards last night. I would have designed a giant cork costume and been Cork Man. I would have scored some seats down the line in right field (never a problem for O’s games unless the Yankees are in town) and screamed at Sammy all night until he came over and signed my costume. I’d get on Sportscenter, sell the costume on Ebay, and lock up my fifteen minutes of fame and some extra cash.
I need to get on Ebay and start selling some crap. I just got a digital camera which would make it easier. Now I can photograph items and get them up on the site. I don’t know what I have that’s of any value that I would actually want to sell. But I figure ebay is proof that people will buy anything if they think they’re getting a deal. So I figure I’ll be able to quit my job in a month or so.
Is there anything better than that feeling of knowing you’re about to leave a job? Unless it’s a job you really really like, and I don’t know anybody like that. All of a sudden everyone is nice to you, you don’t really care about much of anything because you’re leaving soon, and you don’t get angry or hold grudges. Everything just rolls right off your back. Problems that may surface down the road no longer exist for you. It’s like having all your sins absolved. Unless of course you’re getting fired.
I’ve never been fired from a job. Part of me thinks it would be kind of fun. One of those things that everybody should do at some point. But it would have to be a job that you didn’t care about at all and had no meaning to your life. Like working at a 7-11 after only a month. Truthfully, I just have fantasies about getting fired from my current job, as well as most of the others I’ve had. In reality, I’m sure getting fired must be a horrible experience for most people. But something about it really appeals to me. Probably because the economic impact on me would be so minimal because I make shit money and don’t have any kids.
Is anyone else amused by how upset conservatives get when Hillary Clinton does anything? I love the call in topics on talk radio. “Do you think Hillary is a dirty lying whore? Let us know what you think.” Very even-handed approach. I don’t understand how she can provoke such enmity. Maybe it’s the pant-suits.
I have never seen more traveling violations go uncalled than I have in the NBA Finals. And I’ve watched a lot of NBA games over the years. This year they have apparently decided to give everybody a third step.
I’ve also never seen a team that will likely be the champions when this is all over whose guard play is so erratic. These guys are completely out of control 9 times out of 10. They dribble into the lane, get themselves up in the air, and throw it up for grabs. I know Parker and Manu are young, but get a hold of yourselves. Your professionals! Don’t drive in there every single possession if you can’t complete a kick out pass. Without Tim Duncan this team would flat out stink. I didn’t think he deserved the MVP this year, but I’ve changed my mind. He might be the most valuable player in the history of the league.
I do have a problem with MVP awards as they are voted on. Everyone seems to think most valuable means the player that is most valuable to his team, as Duncan no doubt is. But I think it really ought to be a player of the year award. If you go strictly by value to his team, you probably could have given the award to Shaq this year. He missed a lot of games, and it clearly hurt his team. What is a better test of value?
Is this how Larry King writes his columns? Does he still write those things? What a complete idiot this guy is. How he ever became CNN’s franchise player I’ll never understand. He had Martha Stewart on the other night after her indictment. He asked such hard hitting questions as “What does the K stand for in K-Mart?” He also asked her 3 times if she was sticking with K-Mart, to all of which she answered yes. Put this windbag out to pasture and get somebody in there who has an interest in actual journalism rather than spewing stories about growing up in Brooklyn and pretending to be friends with Sandy Koufax.
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