( 6:33 AM )
My Birthday
This is a note I sent out to everyone in my family the other day. Response was mixed. I thought it was rather reasonable and slightly funny (even though I was serious).
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Hey everybody--
Listen, I don't want to come off as sounding obnoxious or anything (because I'm actually being very serious), but my birthday is coming up next month, and you all know how I really don't like making a big deal about my birthday. And since I'm turning 36 this time (and some of you are right behind me), I think it's about time I stop getting gifts.
Like I said, I don't want to sound obnoxious, because maybe you weren't thinking about getting me a gift, which is great. But if you were, what could you possible get me? I can't even think of something special I'd get myself if I had the opportunity. More sleep? A couple of hours on the couch, uninterrupted? If you can figure out how to get me these things, then go ahead. But truthfully, it bothers me more that some of you might be struggling with "what do I get him for his birthday?" then the idea that you forgot it completely.
As Deb keeps telling me, "it's the thought that counts", and that's fine. So, if you must show you were thinking of me, a card is fine. But believe me when I say, a phone call is really all that is necessary. But please, don't hurt yourself trying to get me something more special than these simple gesters.
So, consider this your official release form for the tedious task of thinking of, physically purchasing, and delivering any kind of birthday gift. I'm 36 for crying out loud. If I don't already have everything I ever wanted out of life, what's another sweatshirt or work gadget going to do for me?
(If you were thinking of getting me a sweatshirt or work gadget, I apologize.)
Thanks for your understanding. Please don't feel obligated to recipicate with a similar gester, as Deb actually does all of the birthday shopping in our family.
Regards,
Michael
( 9:21 AM )
Letter-to-the-Editor: Falling Ice
This is a letter I sent to my local newspaper in Stamford, CT that didn't get published. I figured I'd post it here instead:
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Dear editor--
I almost died yesterday. I almost got crushed by a sheet of ice that fell off a building while I walked down Atlantic Street on my way to work. The sheet of ice crashed onto a piece of sidewalk that I had been walking on four seconds earlier. People around me and a crowd of people standing across the street at a bus stop, let out a collective gasp and looked up to the rooftop of the four-story building where the ice came from. Another sheet of ice hung precariously over the edge – waiting to fall.
When I reached my office, I immediately found the number for the Stamford Public Safety office on the Internet and called them. I felt fortunate to be alive, but also felt it was my duty to do something about it before somebody less lucky got hurt.
I reached a gentleman in the Public Safety office and reported the incident and the impending danger still hanging over unsuspecting pedestrians on the street. After doing so he said, and I quote, “That’s not our responsibility.”
“Not your responsibility?” I repeated, incredulously. “The public’s ‘safety’ is not the responsibility of ‘Public Safety’?”
“Well…ice on rooftops is not our responsibility,” he clarified. “The building owners are responsible for clearing the sidewalks and rooftop.”
“Look,” I said. “I almost got killed a few minutes ago and I’m a little shaken up. But I don’t think it’s my responsibility to find out who owns these buildings. I’m reporting a public safety hazard to the Office of Public Safety. I’m not looking for a political discussion about ‘who’s responsibility’ it is – I’m looking for someone to spend about 10 minutes putting up a couple of traffic cones around the area, so one gets hurt or killed.”
“I understand,” he said. “I’ll pass the information along to my supervisor.”
I gave him the location of the falling ice and my information and hung up.
At noon, I stepped outside to check and saw more ice had fallen, but no blockade or cones. At 5pm, on my way home, still no cones.
As I traversed the hazardous sidewalks between Landmark Square and the train station, it occurred to me that I, along with hundreds of other commuters, have been struggling with these sidewalks for two weeks, since the last big snowstorm.
There are several vacant commercial storefronts who’s owners have failed to shovel the stretch of sidewalk in front of their buildings, thus hundreds of commuting pedestrians have created a single-file footpath down these sections of sidewalks.
I need to question the city of Stamford’s efforts in enforcing the rules or laws that require these owners to maintain these public walkways. As much as Public Safety likes to believe that the public is safe simply because somewhere there is a law written down that requires building owners to keep the sidewalks and rooftops safe, it doesn’t mean it’s actually happening.
Building owners will not lift a finger for the public’s benefit, especially for vacant buildings, unless the city enforced the laws requiring them to do so.
I know it’s difficult for non-pedestrians to sympathize with issues like these, but if you spent one morning walking from Stamford train station to the center of town, like hundreds of other people do, you would see the pitfalls and hazards we face every day, especially during this time of year. I travel this route every morning and every night, and I see people fall on the ice almost every day. One day, someone is going to break his or her neck or get crushed by a sheet of ice off a building, and the questions will be, who fault was this? And how could this have been prevented? And what exactly is the purpose of the Public Safety Office?
( 9:00 PM )
Losers vs. Winners
I just read Webb’s blog and I’m completely confused by his tone. Since when did “picking the wrong guy” make you a loser? Are we assuming that the American majority is some sort of intellectual authority about what is “right” and what is “correct” and what is “good”?
Webb, I suppose you’re a loser for listening to the New Pornographers or The Flaming Sideburns. Are you a loser because you enjoy listening to obscure artists that no one’s ever heard of?
Are you a loser for rooting for the Pittsburgh Steelers, when you live in New York and have two perfectly good local teams to root for?
So, assuming these are the bars by which we measure winners and losers – a winner is someone who votes for whoever CNN prefers to unofficially endorse (usually a Republican), listens to Justin Timberlake, Toby Keith and Missy Elliott, watches the Super Bowl strictly for the half-time show, schedules their evenings around reality TV shows and drinks Coors Lite.
Well, if that’s a winner, then sign me up for the LOSER’s club, ‘cause I’ve got better taste and better things to do with my time than hang out with a bunch of mindless, crap-fed, zombies, who believe everything they hear or see on TV and wait to see what everyone else likes before deciding for themselves.
Personally, I’ve enjoyed claiming “he’s not my president -- I didn’t vote for him!” I’ve always voted for the person that I felt was being the most honest (or lying the least) and had the most realistic agenda (even if it wasn’t popular) rather then an agenda that was completely unattainable. I’ve also had a huge preference for independent candidates that I know weren’t being influenced by party politics and special interests.
Do us a huge favor, Webb – don’t crumble under the pressures of the popular opinion. Keeping writing about what you "believe" in, and not what you think is popular. I know you’ve always thought as I do, that the public is really just a bunch of idiots, and we’re the only ones left to keep us from completely falling over the edge.
( 12:45 PM )
The 4 sweetest words
If you're feeling a bit down, now that football season is over; if the cold weather in the northeast is pissing you off; if watching the sun rise each morning as you trudge to work through cold rain and/or snow is depressing the hell out of you -- fret no longer.
The 4 sweetest words ever uttered are about to be...uttered.
Pitchers and catchers reporting.
The countdown is on. 10 days, 23 hours, 16 minutes (as of this writing).
To keep track yourself: http://mlb.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/mlb/events/spring_training/y2004/index.jsp
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