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July 23, 2004 ( 11:38 PM )

Attention Span ~ A summertime celebration of beach volleyball

He saw it, the ball had just cleared the net
body now in motion, sand dividing around his feet
his arms bruised, hair soaked with sweat, he had
dreamed of plays like this, it was his chance

All his partner could do was watch
as the immaculate lunge began,
the crowd gasped in anticipation--
the moment was electric

The two objects moved in slow motion
some magnetic force joining them
fans were now standing and screaming,
he would pull it off

It bounced off his outstretched arms
sailing into the California air
all eyes fixed on the leather object
headed for a final destination

Catching the other team off guard
the ball miraculously sailed back over the net
and landed safely inbounds--
momentous applause and sympathy filled the air

The ball bounced into the stands and
into a man’s lap, spilling his oversized drink…

Shit man, that’s just fucking great-- my ass crack is floating in Mountain Dew!

 

Song of the Day:

“Be My Beach”  Funkadelic 1975

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July 14, 2004 ( 11:17 PM )

The following letter was found neatly folded on the steps of McKinley Hall:

Dear Lisa,

Greetings from Beekeeper camp! Well, actually from an intensive care hospital bed because I was stung about four hundred times. Who knew I was allergic! Good news is that doctors say I might be able to recognize my genitals in about a week. Before my unfortunate accident I was having a great time swatting at angry bees and partying with some guys from camp Crystal Lake. Hey I made you a decorative t-shirt with beads and Popsicle sticks that says “I Bee Buzzed.” Well since I’m writing this letter with a pencil in my mouth, gotta go!


I am now the Queen---ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Kristin



Song of the Day:

“Tell Me a Story” Iggy Pop 1979

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July 8, 2004 ( 10:18 PM )

New York’s Finest?

Yesterday I caught an episode of the new reality cop show NYPD 24/7. A day later, I’m still reminded of the appalling behavior displayed by one of the cops featured on the program. A white male officer in his early 40’s pulled over a suspected drunk driver that was apparently weaving in an SUV. The driver was a Mexican man (or Hispanic) and his passenger was his tweener-aged daughter. They were told by the officer to exit the vehicle and they readily complied.

Everything was under control until the officer casually tossed the man’s keys into the front seat of the SUV, locked the doors, and slammed them closed. The cop then instructed the man and his daughter to get a cab ride home. Obviously slurry, but understandably upset that the cop had just locked all his keys into the car, the man pleaded with the officer, “I need my house keys!” The cop just yelled back, “I don’t care, go home-- just get a cab!”

This situation deteriorated further to the point that the cop kept driving around the block and re-confronting this same frantic guy now trying to break into his own truck. Like a cat battling with a defenseless mouse, the man was reduced to crying and screeching, “I need my keeeyys!!” While the daughter sobbed nearby, the officer repeatedly screamed at the man until the poor dude finally broke down and begged to be arrested already.

So the officer was teaching this guy a drunk driving lesson huh? By the time the ordeal was over, the officer had also involved umpteen other cops as well as an emergency medical crew that had strap the guy down and take him to a hospital for observation (he was released later). On a sick comedic level it was what Inspector Clouseau unwittingly did to his chief, but in real life this was disturbing and inhumane. It was obvious that officer was totally screwing with this guy on purpose.

Hey I understand police work is extremely difficult, but under the lights of a film crew this cop got too high and mighty. He should’ve either arrested the guy at the first opportunity or impounded his car and sent him home with his house keys. Better yet, maybe the cop could’ve simply driven the guy and his scared daughter home. It would have prevented the horrible drama and it wouldn’t have wasted the time of several other cops and an ambulance crew called to the scene just to get one tipsy driver off the streets. Sadly the callous actions of one bitter cop tarnish all the other policemen who use their brains while on duty.



Song of the Day:

“Pickens County Blues” Willie King & The Liberators 2000

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July 4, 2004 ( 11:19 PM )

The following letter was found tonight near McKinley Hall:

Dear Lisa,

Happy 4th of July! Yeah stars and stripes forever baby! I’m totally psyched that now there’s only 181 shopping days left till Christmas! Hey I can finally brush again—turns out that it was my lost toothbrush that kept making the septic system overflow. Oh crap, I keep forgetting to tell you not to throw out my fake nails that broke off in your new jar of Noxzema. Also I think I may have mistakenly taken all your underwear. My student research team is looking for semen samples, so why not go to the source? Just kidding!

xoxoxo

Kristin




Song of the Day:

“Hello There” Cheap Trick 1977


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