( 9:50 AM )
At Least We're Not in Indiana
Ft. Lauderdale International Airport is slowly becoming one of my favorite airports in America. For quick in's and out's, it cannot be beaten. The only drawback; the food. My suggestion would be to bring your own food unless you have a hankering for burgers or Pizzeria Uno. A mile or two away on Las Olas Blvd., you can get a great salad and a smoothy at Salad Creations or panini or a brick oven pizza at Brio.
Only in an airport or a Tom Waits song is drinking at 10:30 am acceptable. I don't care which airport you're in or what hour it is, the bar will be packed. What also freaks me out a little is that it seems that the people drinking at these odd drinking hours don't really look like the heavy drinker-types. Grandma's in cable knit sweaters with a Miller Lite in their hands and the clock hasn't even struck noon.
A theme-park ride like plane ride dropped Yours Truly at LaGuardia Airport smack dab at 4pm. First off, three cheers once again to Jet Blue. It's not just my favorite airline (having been voted best domestic airline three years in a row) but judging from the round of applause the pilot got as he landed us safely that all of flight 73 gives Jet Blue a big thumbs up.
New York was in its normal madness state. A driving rain, present all day, made the usual early-rush hour chaos more chaotic. It was nice to be back in a taxi again but as I watched the traffic back up the FDR all the way to the 50's, part of me wished that I flew into JFK and could've headed straight to the A-Train.
Christmas shopping is far from finished, so as soon as I kissed the parents hello and inspected the 2004 family tree, it was off to the mall for last minute gifts. Consider this an all-points bulletin: anyone who knows where I can find the following toys please email me at: gjoseph@2walls.com.
The American Idol Karaoke Machine
The American Idol Dance Mat
Video Now: That's So Raven Edition.
As you can see, Yours Truly has spent the last week or so in toy stores looking for said particular items. Toy stores are scary, even scarier a week before Christmas. You'll find mean parents, crying kids and pedophiles - not exactly my kind of crowd.
Rising and shining in Bergen County, Yours Truly finds Rummy in Iraq doing whatever he can to get a positive post-election news story for the Administration. Perhaps Rummy should've taken Bernard Kerik along with him. This space has called for not only Rummy's dismissal but also for his indictment stemming from prison abuse scandal.
Going to Iraq means a lot to the troops but like always, we shouldn't use people as props. The troops mean a lot more to the American people than they do to Rummy and it is clear that the only reason he is there is to prove to his critics that he truly does care. Sorry, but you're going to have to try a lot harder than that. It's what you do when the cameras aren't rolling that matters most. When you opt to have a machine sign letters to families whose children have made the ultimate sacrifice you don't deserve your current job.
Lastly, three cheers for Lloyd Grove of the New York Daily News. I normally stay as far away from the Daily News as possible but I must say I'm happy that someone is finally taking a strong stand against Paris Hilton. Contrary to Esquire, Yours Truly doesn't have to accept the fact that Hilton is a part of our culture and we should get use to it. Grove, and hopefully others will follow, have said, "no more Paris on our pages."
That's the best Christmas gift a boy could receive....
::
0 comments
( 10:28 AM )
The AutoPen Strikes Back
The latest edition of Esquire Magazine features its annual: 'What I've Learned' articles. The cover story, George Clooney (who I now forgive for K-Street, not the show mind you but that fact that Yours Truly didn't get hired as a writer) has some pointed and choice words to say about liberals and the liberals runnings away from the word liberals. Yours Truly has never really been a big fan a labels and have seen first hand the "liberal label" bring down worthy public servants like North Carolina's Harvey Gantt. But Clooney does have a point. If Democrats are going to run and hide when the going gets tough, than really what do they believe? If they're not willing to scarifice political popularity for their core beliefs than why should we follow them, or better yet, why should we choose them to lead? Back in the 60's (like this 70's born writer knows) it was cool to be a liberal but now in red state America, being a liberal is about as popular as being a BALCO employee.
Another great feature of Esquire this month are the writer submissions as to what they've learned. My favorite: "There are two types of people in this world and one puts ketchup on eggs."
Now, on to more important things like the Democratic drumbeat calling for Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld to resign. Typical of the Democrats (from this day forward reverting back to their rightful name: the Jackass Party) about two years and regretably, 500 deaths too late. Rummy had to go before he was sworn in but with that boat missed, the Jackass Party decided that hanging on the docks and watching their ideals get washed out to sea was more important than say, raising necessary cane over prisoner abuse. Plus, we still have that whole Cuba illegal detainee thing going on that everybody seems to have forgetten.
The latest Rumsfeld flap comes over his admission that he used a machine (widely known as an AutoPen inside the Beltway) to sign as many as 1,000 letters of condolences to families of slain U.S. soliders. Republican Chuck Hagel, who operates within the confines of the McCain-Feingold law, meaning he has no negative criticism of the Bush Administration within 60 days of an election but fires away at all other times, was back to his normal "I Can't Believe I Voted for These Guys" self, telling CBS News: "This issue of thr secretary of defense not personally signing letters is just astounding to me and it does reflect how out of touch they are and how dismissive they are."
Notice how Hagel's statement begins with an indictment of Rummy but he quickly shifts to the term "they," meaning he is equally perplexed by the entire Bush Administration. Let's hope Chuck means what he says and is not just auditioning to be Rummy's replacement.
Rumsfeld might be just the most ineffective field general in America if Eli Manning weren't still starting for the Giants. Let's jsut fire Tom Coughlin right now shall we. I still don't know why this guy still has a job. The last Giant coach was fired for his team giving up on him but Coughlin has given up on his team, well before this current losing streak set in. By benching Warner in favor of Manning, Coughlin ended the Giant playoff hopes. The team was over .500 at the time of the benching and now they're 4 games under. This is the NFC we're talking about here, where its almost granted that an under .500 team will make the playoffs. Hell, St, Arizona may even win the division being 2 games under .500. In the process of, starting Manning has meant less carries for Tiki Barber and more work for an already worn out defense.
Now, I understand wanting to give the kid some snaps but it shouldn't come at expense of winning today. Plus, except for two quarters on Saturday, Eli hasn't played well at all. The interceptions are understable but he only has 3 touchdowns all year, is not acceptable. No rookie in recent memory has played so poorly for so long with an able bodied veteran (who won as a starter) ready to go. say what you want about Warner, he put the ball in the end zone and woon games. For those who say Manning is learning a valuable lesson, Yours Truly asks: what lessons? He hasn't even run a two-minute drill and this week was the only week so far that we haven't seen him throw that odd sidearm delivery.
Of course, only winless quarterbacks for the Giants are priceless enough that they get a front page cover story in the New York Times Magazine. It makes you wonder, if Chad Pennington, who has led his team to the playoffs and wins consistently even exists in the eyes of the New York media?
Sticking with sports, Yours Truly is happy to see that the Braves still continue to amaze you in the off-season. Laning Tim Hudson will certainly make them odds on favorites to win their, what, 14 straight, NL East title. The Oakland sell-off didn't end there, with Mulder headed to the Cards the next day. Those who are calling for Billy Beane's head remember, they've done this before. The 'Saber-Master' has many tricks left up his sleeve. What, did you think the Big Three was a draft day fluke?
Don't count out the A's
::
0 comments
( 3:49 PM )
All I Want for Christmas
The Mets signing Pedro is a start. The Amazin's have dominated the back pages the entire week and make the Yankees signings of Carl Pavano (the dumbest ball player in the league) and Jaret Wright, seem like, well the signing Carl Pavano and Jaret Wright.
Pedro doesn't make the Mets a World Series contender. He doesn't even make them a playoff team, nor does he guarantee that they'll finish above .500. What he does is bring some interest to the New York Mets. He puts asses in the seats and makes Flushing the second home to New York's Dominician population. He gives the Mets back its mid-80's swagger and provides a reliable, hilarious quote for the beat writers to tear apart the next day.
Now, the Mets need to find a player who will provide that excitement on the days when Pedro is not pitching. That means moving full steam ahead and signing Carlos Beltran. He is the best player on the market and one of the top 10 in the league. he is young, fast and hits for power. He needs to be a fixture in centerfield for the Mets for the next ten years. The Wilpons need to spend the money and go and get him. After Beltran, I'd like to see a one-year deal in place for Magglio Ordonez. With Beltran and Ordonez, joining David Wright, Jose Reyes, Cliff Floyd and oh yeah, Mike Piazza, the Mets will have something special brewing in Flushing.
That is all I want for Christmas. After putting up with the last four years, that isn't too much to ask....
Far be it for me to roll into the weekend without getting in my Bernard Kerik licks. Kerik has had a rough couple of days. Nanny-gate, using cops to research his book (which is better than when he had cops say, shoot unarmed black men) and stalking publisher Judith Regan, which is really not a crime. The New York Post is already thinking that Kerik's troubles will spell doom for Rudy's White House run in 2008. Trust me, Rudy will spell doom for Rudy's Presidential run. For those who don't believe Rudy could offer up a man who he knew had these troubles, well, you don't know Rudy. In Rudy's New York, he wouldn't care what people said about what he did or how he did it. Unpaid taxes, so what, it's my way or no access. Wrongful use of city personnel, so what? And this was before he was America's Mayor. Take a good look America, this is the man who wants to be president. A man who feel he doesn't have to answer his critics. I mean, who does he think he is, George Bush.
And finally, the most disturbing trend I've seen lately are teen-age girls, walking in public with little dogs a la Paris Hilton, stuffed in their purses. Let's hope this trend dies come the new year....
::
0 comments
( 11:49 AM )
Year of the Asshole
It's official, Kobe Bryant is now an asshole. OK, I may be late to the game. I always thought the prosecutors in Colorado were railroading the Laker superstar. I always thought those unnamed sources were merely other players jealous of the attention, the endorsements and the game that Kobe possessed. However, with the latest fervor caused by Kobe and his comments about the first ballot Hall of Famer Karl Malone, it is clear that Kobe has lost his mind and has progressed to asshole land.
Everyone wondered how the Lakers would fare without Shaq. The jury is still out on that one but what is crystal clear is that without Shaq there to provide the sound bites that only Shaq could provide, Kobe will do nothing but his foot in his mouth all season long.
The latest example of no-class Kobe are the "accusations" that Malone hit on his wife Vanessa. First off, you can't blame a brother for trying to get on Vanessa's fine ass. Second, if Kobe wasn't too busy stabbing Shaq and Phil in the back perhaps he could take better care of his woman. Third, if Kobe wasn't too busy having questionable sex with ugly white chicks in Colorado perhaps Vanessa wouldn't be looking for a more powerful forward.
::
0 comments
( 1:10 PM )
Don't Believe the Hype
The New York Post is once again is screaming at the top of their lungs, let's just hope like always nobody is listening. Col Allan and Company have their tabloid panties in the bunch this time over the UN oil-for-food program "scandal." Writing under the headline: 'Kojo Cashed in on Daddy, Notes Reveal,' Niles Lathem writes about how Kofi Annan's son Kojo, used his father's "worldwide connections to wheel and deal with heads of state." Lathem, who is either extremely biased or born yesterday (or both) goes on the call the UN oil-for-food program "history's biggest financial scandal."
Go figure, a child of a politician using the 'rents name to line their pockets. "Holy, American Way, Batman."
Only in a world where the conservative right is dying to shatter the United Nations into a thousand pieces, does the prospect of Kofi Annan's son using his father's connections to earn lucrative business deals cause even a minor tremor. This space can't think of one politician who wasn't used in some way or form by their children to get to the position they're in now.
As for this being the "history's biggest financial scandal," this is just the Post doing their part to help Americans forget the names Enron and Ken Lay. Just pulling the wool over your eyes so you don't remember the S & L crisis and the millions in taxpayer dollars it took to bail them out.
Funny, at the center of all these scandals is our President's family. As we all know and should remember, Enron is a Texas company that enjoyed great access to the then-Governor Bush. Bush did everything in his power to help the company along: relaxing regulations and ill-timed tax cuts, all while pocketing millions in campaign contributions. Before the scandal broke Ken Lay was "Kenny Boy" to Bush, and when Enron became a scandal he was turned into merely a Texas businessman who supported Bush's opponent Ann Richards in the past.
Thousands of hard-working men and women lost their future, while Ken Lay glided off into the sunset on a platinum parachute. US financial markets took over a year to recover and investor confidence is just getting back to pre-Enron levels. But if you read believe the Post, Enron was merely a blip on the radar screen compared to the shenanigans in a banana republic like Iraq.
And please let us not forget the S & L crisis because at the center of that mess was Neil "I never met an Asian Hooker I didn't like" Bush. Neil's little "scandal" cost American taxpayers billions of dollars, and led to a bevy of new regulations and oversight so the people won't get soaked again. Once again, the Post glazes over this chapter in history, because, well the right loves the Bush family and they hate the United Nations.
::
0 comments
|
