( 11:26 AM )
Attack of the killer snowplows
We had our first snow of the season last night – a mixture of snow and ice that accumulated to a whopping 2 inches of icy crust. Fairly harmless you say? No, actually, this is the most dangerous snow of the year. Slippery roads? Treacherous sidewalks? No, it’s dangerous because of the deranged, lunatic snow plowmen that suddenly appear in mass to clear the roads of this wintery plague.
Two inches of snow is barely enough to warrant the efforts of shoveling, no less plowing. But these guys are like crack addicts coming out of a 9-month rehab stint, only to find crack crystals falling from the sky.
They guys attack the streets like they’re at war. Tearing down highways and side streets at breakneck speeds – ripping apart curbs and car mirrors, throwing debris, ice particles and my neighbor’s pile of leaves across my front yard and driveway.
Sometimes they travel in squadrons, driving in staggered formation – like they’re Top Gun pilots on a mission.
“Alpha Bravo Charlie, this is Red Leader. Do you copy?”
“I copy Red Leader. Talk to me Goose…”
“Maverick, we’ve got a parked car on the corner of Bridge and Main – you’re clear to take a shot if you’ve got it.”
“I see it Goose. I’m going in – I’m gonna take off his bumper. How's my starboard wing look?”
“I’m your wingman Maverick – I’ve got you covered. Take the shot, then turn and burn!”
“I feel the need for speed. Yeehaw!!”
Be careful out there.
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( 3:41 PM )
West Wing (Sheen vs. Bush) I really don’t watch West Wing, so I’m not going to pretend I know all the characters or know what’s going really going on. I’ve only caught it a few times because my wife watches it. Now, from what I’ve heard, everyone thinks Martin Sheen makes a great President. He’s honest and sincere, firm and fair, has a good smile and great hair.
In last night’s episode, he’s paralyzed and in a wheel chair (I don’t know why) and is meeting with the President of China to discuss North Korea. There’s all this drama about how important this meeting is, how getting China to agree to be more forceful with North Korea is for the good of the future and security of humankind and the entire planet. Sheen gets all dramatic with his wife, asking how can he save the planet from nuclear annihilation when he can’t even brush his teeth or take a leak without help.
Oh, and there’s an asteroid on a direct trajectory to Earth that might hit within the next 48 hours.
So this is Emmy Award television programming? So much for art imitating life.
I don’t understand how anybody can take this show seriously. (I laughed through last night’s episode.) And I really don’t understand how it can be so popular, especially when the President on the show is this super-honest, nationally-loved, two-term Democrat. Aren’t we a flag-waving, NASCAR-loving, church-going, Riley Factor-believing, tax-breaks-for-the-rich, homophobic, two-term Republican voting nation?
As much as I think this show is just a bunch of liberal propaganda from Hollywood, I wonder if the real President of the United States watches this show and thinks, “Hmmm…that Martin Sheen guy is really cool. (Although, he was cooler in Apocalypse Now.) Everyone seems to like him, and he always makes the morally right decision. He’s also got great hair! I wonder if I should try to be more like him?”
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( 11:35 AM )
Giambi Good Lord. What is all the fuss about with Jason Giambi’s admittance of steroid use? This morning, every New York paper has gigantic, sensational headlines such as “BUM!” and “GET RID OF HIM!”
When did the sports media become so self-righteous? When did NY sports fans become so self-righteous?
In today’s NY Post, columnist Kevin Kernan claims that in New York “liars and cheaters don't fit into the mix,” and that “there was a time when Yankees baseball stood for something.”
Like what? Rampant cocaine use and alcohol abuse? They might not have had steroid problems back then, but those prideful Yankees of the 70’s and 80’s were nostril-deep into illegal drug use and alcoholism. And you know what? Everybody looked the other way. Owners, managers, writers and fans.
We all know steroids are used in professional baseball. “We” being owners, managers, writers and fans. And commissioners. Since there are no stringent testing requirements, players don’t have to hand over anything but their smiling, honest faces to the media questions regarding drug use.
So now, Jason Giambi gets dragged up before a Grand Jury and does the unthinkable. He tells the truth.
Steroids! Oh, no! I’m shocked! How can this be!
Give me a break. As far as I’m concerned, Giambi is the only standup guy in the bunch. (The “bunch” being guys like Bonds, Sosa, and every other guy that got sub-humanly huge in a short amount of time.) I’ve never been a fan of Giambi (even when I was a Yankee fan), but I’ve suddenly found a new respect for the guy.
What should be done about Giambi, you ask? Sure, I agree that he should be tossed out of baseball. Maybe making an example of him will even out the game a bit, deflating everyone else and sending them all back to the gym. But I don’t want to hear about how pure the game was until Giambi came along, or how we never believed that baseball players were using performance enhancing supplements. Give me a break.
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( 1:49 PM )
Taxes
So guess what? My property taxes just went up. Oh, goodness me! I wonder how that happened? You know what else? My car insurance just went up. Only a few bucks per month, but it totals about $80/year more than last year. You know what else? My homeowners insurance just went up. So did my cable bill, and my cellular phone bill, my electric bill and my water bill. All went up ever so slightly, almost as if I wouldn’t notice if they simply tacked on an additional $2 per month onto my cellular bill. And don’t even get me started on the cost of heating oil or propane gas. My health insurance is covered by my employer, but you know what? They just revised their coverage, so some of the things that were covered last year, won’t be covered this year.
But the good news is, I’m paying 2% less in income taxes than I did four years ago. Thank goodness for George W. Bush! He’s my hero! Sure, my property taxes have increased nearly 50% since I bought my house 7 years ago, but I’m going start socking away the extra cash now that ‘ol Georgie has come to my rescue with his tax cuts! In fact, I’m thinking about buying myself a big ‘ol 4-wheel drive truck with all that extra money!
Oh, but wait… Gas prices are higher than they have ever been in history. I’m paying almost 40% more for gas than I did four years ago.
So why is everything going up? Well, that 2% of income taxes that I’m no longer paying to the federal government really doesn’t add up to much. But the taxes breaks to some of my neighbors here in the wealthy state of Connecticut has put a huge dent into the federal assistance that Connecticut needs to maintain it’s high level of educational programs and other federally assisted programs. But the state of Connecticut isn’t simply going to let those programs die or get underfunded. So they raised our property taxes, and gasoline taxes, and telecommunications taxes to help file the hole. People in those Red States are having a good ol’ time blaming their local governments (or Democrats, if there are any nearby) for all of the extra costs of living lately. “Why can’t our town government treat us like George W. Bush!”
Poor saps. These people remind me of those disaster movies where they’re being repeatedly warned that a storm is coming and they should get to higher ground, but they refuse to listen.
I’m going to have a hard time feeling bad for these people when the hurricane comes through and wipes out the family farm.
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